you suck Fooly cooly rocks and you make it look bad jerk

Written by Bobo Adobo

As you've probably noticed, this site isn't so much an Adult Swim site anymore; it's an anti-anime site. Which is pretty much the same thing, because if you're a fan of Adult Swim (i.e., Space Ghost) then you're no doubt against the vicious sodomizing that Adult Swim has been a victim of. Adult Swim went from a tremendous block of programming starring new episodes of Space Ghost and new series from the makers of Space Ghost plus one anime at the end (so that it could be ignored) to a whole shitload of animes plus a bunch of comedy shows that don’t have any comedy, some shows Fox cancelled, absolutely no Space Ghost and programming bumps reminding us how much we love anime.

This is because, aside from the fact that the people responsible for Adult Swim are douchers, that having one single anime on Adult Swim attracted hoards of anime fags, and anime fags are like heroin addicts; if you give them just a little bit of anime, they’ll go insane with cravings and will steal VCRs and car radios until you give them more of it. Anime fags will never be happy with Adult Swim until it is 100 percent anime. Even when Adult Swim was 2/3 anime, anime fags still complained because the 1/3 of Adult Swim that was comedy was on BEFORE the anime.

As a sidenote, the definition of “anime fag” is not the literal one; I do not mean gay people who like anime, as most gay men would probably not find a xx-small Kero Kero Keropi t-shirt on a 400-pound pile of pock-marked lard to be particularly chic. “Anime fag” does not refer to people who are casual anime fans, who might have an interest in anime the same way someone who doesn’t wear hats with the logos of weight gain drinks and protein supplements might have a casual interest in watching those World’s Strongest Man contests on EPSN 2. An anime fag is someone who views anime the same way Mel Gibson views Jesus. Anime fags don’t just think anime is an entertaining television program; they write fan fictions about their favorite animes, they dress up as their favorite anime characters, they base their entire lives around anime and they argue endlessly with anybody who doesn’t think anime is the greatest invention since Robo Jesus.

Which brings up anime fags’ other, more hilarious basic quality, and the focus of this article, is that they can’t stand it when people have different opinions then they do. When somebody disagrees with an anime fag they take it as a personal attack against their beliefs and values. This is not a quality unique to anime fags, and is in fact prevalent in many other types of assholes. For example, there are sports fans who believe that anybody who doesn’t like the team that they like is a traitor. You hear that, anime fags? You are all like two jackasses sitting in a bar and yelling “YANKEES SUCK!” “NO, THE YANKEES RULE, THE RED SOX SUCK” at each other for four hours.

And if you don’t believe me, then just look at this site’s guestbook and prepared to be proven completely wrong. There are literally hundreds of messages from anime fags angrily indicating why they feel it should be illegal to bad mouth anime, as is done routinely on this site. Most of these are in response to Kon's unbelievably hilarious fake FLCL review, which means they think they are responding to somebody who likes anime but doesn't like the anime that they like. They are slightly more rational in this environment than when arguing with someone who doesn't like anime at all, which says a lot about how fucking stupid these people are.

The following is a list of the eight arguments most commonly used by anime fags to persuade people who don’t agree with them that they are wrong. As such, none of these arguments make any sense whatsoever, and they all occur innumerable times in the guest book. Also included are examples from the guest book that fall into each of the eight categories; not only are all of these examples real with absolutely no corrections made in grammar, punctuation, spelling or thought process, but most of them are from like the last week, which just goes to show what an incredible comedic goldmine the guest book is. Away!

1. "You must secretly love anime cause you talk about it"

Why would you assume anyone would hate you and your site? Someone seems a little insecure. Well, I read your review of FLCL and your sarcastic humor floored me! It was so blatantly obvious how much you like FLCL by pointing out all of its good qualities and making them seem bad. And that you call yourself a huge anime otaku, wilst the rest of your site is dedicated to the mockery and hating of anime! Oh, the irony. How very clever you are. The mangled English adaptation of Pokemon and the recycled old-school animation of Space Ghost better than FLCL...*chuckle* You can't fool me, I bet you're sitting at home in your Faye Valentine costume watching Evangelion this very instant. Have you ever considered stand-up comedy? See you at Otaku-con!

[note]: Anime fags are enormous idiots. In an attempt to get under the skin of someone who doesn’t like anime, they claim that, because they know enough about anime to determine it sucks, must in actuality love anime; otherwise how would they know enough about it to know that it sucks? But the biggest problem here is that anime fags think it’s a huge insult to say “well I bet you actually love anime.” And although they’re right, it is a huge insult to say that someone likes anime, it sort of hinders their original argument, which is that anime doesn’t suck.


2. "You just don't understand."

that said; right off the bat your big problem with fooly cooly is that you didn't get the plot. news flash, cupcake, that's not the shows fault. you can't blame the series for you not being intelligent enough to understand the philisophical metaphors there-in. the show has meaning. i'm truly sorry that they couldn't drop the real fans and dumb the plotline down for you. somehow.. i don't think that they're mourning the loss.

(also used by idiots who attack people who don't like the creative works they create)


3. "You must be stupid to disagree with me."

you suck Fooly cooly rocks and you make it look bad jerk you make all look bad you You need to watch tv man or are you just stupid need me to spell it for ya S-T-U-P-I-D do you understand that


4. "You like kiddie animes so your opinion doesn't count."

I just read your review of FLCL, and I must say that you have no taste. You claim that both Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon are better than Cowboy Bebop and Trigun? While Dragon Ball Z isn't bad, come on man, Pokemon? Do you have any taste whatsoever? Or are you just a 12 year old?


5. "You are wrong because you couldn't do any better"

Your name: Dis site is wrong and it sux
i hate your site because you gave really wrong ratings to fooly cooly, anyone who says that about a great show deserves to go straight to hell, like how you should! the animation was great! you couldnt do any better so why the hell are you saying that?!


6. "It's my opinion that your opinion is wrong"

Okay I'm not gunna bash you much about the pokemon since it's just not worth it. Now I know how you have your own opinion and blahblahblah. But how can you say Inyuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, and FLCL suck? I mean how? FLCL is one of the best animes I've ever seen. I mean the syle is just so frikkin cool I strive for my crap style to be as good. God you have no taste.


7. "Because Japan is better than America"

okay i read what you said about fooly cooly and you ARE a brainless loser as i suspected! YOU WATCH POKEMON & DRAGONBALL Z! YOU SICKEN ME!!!!! how old are you?...TEN?!?!?!?! I love FLCL, thats the way MANGA should be! IT'S HILARIOUS, the japanese like this show because they have a higher intellect than people like you, and they don't need some big haired muscle guys flyin, around lookin' faggoty! So what if there are only six episodes... obviously you don't understand how Japanese television is... I bet you don't even know the difference between the different kinds of japanese cartoons...check out Tech TV sometime and watch BoogiePop Phantom... that shit will blow yer mind! You sap


8. "But I love anime, how can you disagree? Let me explain it to you, then you'll like it"

sorry dude but i think flcl rocks. its a different kind of anime i mean how can you hate it and hate all the other great adult swim shows. seriously i love inuyasha ,cowboy bebob ,trigun ect. i wont start dissin u cuz you like pokemon er any thing. just tah let ya kno the plot of flcl is coming of age. its saying you have to go through being a kid and not try to grow up to quick. haruko helps naota realize this and accept himself as a kid.she steers him away from acting more adult like than he should be cuz if u didnt notice he acts too responsible in the begining.


There you have it. And if you have any doubts that anime fags aren’t the stupidest people alive, then here’s an anime fag quote that adequately sums up the entire anime fag thought process:

because your a dickwadd! firstly, dude, FLCL rocks. Inu-yasha & cowboy bebop is besterest man! WTH are you thinking you critisizer! dude, what ar eyou watching on TV. yeah i may agree on the DVD part being expensive and all for only like big amount of money with 2 eps. but man! you can`t hate on this anime.